10 Best Picture Haiku 2010

by Dustin Freeley on January 26, 2011 · 0 comments

Might as well keep up tradition here on Gladiators. The nominations for Best Picture were announced yesterday, and while The Town was a surprising omission, the ten nominees are at least worthy of a haiku — though I’m still skeptical about the validity of The Kids Are All Right. Just saying.

Black Swan

She transmogrifies

to sultry insanity

and sex incarnate

The Fighter

There’s junkbags galore

And white-trash rumbling siblings

with a crack-head bro.

 

Inception

mind-twisting effects

an award-snubbed director

the top better stop spinning!

 

The Kids Are All Right

An amazing cast

Caught in pseudo-novelty

And clichéd conflict

 

The King’s Speech

Firth’s winning this year

To atone for last year’s loss

To this year’s Cogburn.

 

127 Hours

An exercise in

Danny Boyle whitewashing gore with

Scenery sublime.

 

The Social Network

Self-isolation

Begets a billion dollars

And some enemies.

 

Toy Story 3

Drives home nostalgia

Warns against curmudgeonry

Pixar scores again.

 

True Grit

A remake that is

An homage to Hathaway

And true to Portis.

 

Winter’s Bone

Chilling tale of young

Ree, battling social lines

Born from poverty. 

 

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